Recognizing Gender Differences

Today at Musikgarten I noticed more gender differences in our budding toddlers. In a class of 3 boys and 3 girls, there were clear things that boys and girls did differently. First, the boys were more likely to run away from the group to explore the room. Actually, I never saw the girls do this, but us moms of boys were constantly up on our feet to retrieve our little guys.

The other thing is that all of the boys, at least twice each (or about nine-million times for Caleb) kept going over to examine the door stop on the back of the door. They never saw each other doing this, but would in their own time notice it and then squat down to flip it up and down. Two of the boys were also very interested in the under-parts of the folding table, one piece would make a clinking sound. There seemed to be this deep boy interest in exploring and figuring out how things worked.

The other boy difference I noticed is that Caleb and one of the other boys are obsessed with trying to find the remote control for the CD player. If the teacher has it, they try to get it (sometimes both at once!). If she sets it down, one of them will inevitably escape his mother and nab it before taking off towards the door. Caleb will take it and point it at the CD player while pushing buttons (I really have to be fast at catching this one!). His mother and I usually mumble something about "his dad loves technology" before whisking our child away and trying to distract him with something else.

The girls, seriously, all stay near their mothers and participate in class with the singing, playing with stuffed kitties, jingling little bells, and playing peek-a-boo with colored scarves.

I encourage my son to participate in the class as much as I can and strive to show him benefits that come from both male and female. At home we have toys from both genders as well as gender-neutral ones. He observes me more than he observes dad (because I'm home with him all day), but is definitely getting strong influence from both genders.

However much we'd like to believe that gender differences don't exist, it's so apparent when observing little ones that they do exist. It just brings out the complementarian in me even more.

Caleb Gives a High-Five

Caleb Gives a High-Five from Steph Lewis on Vimeo.

Many Happy Returns! Or, I'm 30!

Yes, I'm 30 now. It doesn't feel older or weird or anything like that.

I went on an exciting adventure with Josh on Monday to get my birthday present. We had a mix-up with cars so I borrowed my parents' SUV to go get Josh in Minneapolis then down to IKEA to buy my birthday cabinet. Well, part way down the freeway some guy pulls alongside me and starts gesturing. I didn't catch the gesture, but figured he was just some sick-o.

So, I exit on 4th Ave. and suddenly smell gasoline. Then my car stops. In the middle of a one-way, four-lane, off ramp into the city. I look down and my gas is nearly on empty, even though it was full when I left my hometown. Like a total idiot, I started the car to drive less than 1/2 block to get the car out of traffic. A cop pulled me over and used the speaker-dealy from his car to shout, "Is your ignition off? Shut your ignition off!"

I shut off my car and went over to talk to the cop. I asked him if my car was going to explode. He said, "I don't know, but they always did on Chips!"

I had to wait for the fire department to come. The fire chief asked me how long my gas tank had been leaking, and I told him probably down a fair amount of the freeway. He grinned and said, "I supposed we could just light a match to find out!" We didn't light a match, but that would have been bad and awesome at the same time if we did.

Anyway, after a $100 mandatory tow out of the city, my dad and brother came and got the car (from a ghetto-tastic part of North Minneapolis). We took the car my dad drove to go to Ikea, where my cabinet barely fit in the car. Got home late. Good times. Put the cabinet together on Tuesday and I love it! Woo!

The Lewis family had a nice gathering for me on Thursday with pizza & strawberry shortcake. My nieces made me and Caleb party necklaces to wear. I got two books that I've wanted (Stand & Valley of Vision) as well as a Canon Backpack for all of my photo gear. I had fun hanging out with them all.

On Saturday, the Whiting family came over to our house for some of my mom's lasagna, a beehive cake (yum!), and some good times. I got a Michael's giftcard, some clothes, and the cabinet that was mentioned previously.

I was thinking the other day about how I can have, as Brennan Manning would say, an "attitude of gratitude." This whole past year has included so many changes, but I am amazed at the blessings and love that has been showered on me. What a joy to be able to actually celebrate my birthday with my family, for the first time in many years. And what gratitude I feel to be so surrounded with so many people who love me.

Bread Preservation

My family makes lots of foods in the dehydrator (jerky, fruits, etc.) and we often will put a piece of bread in the bags with our goods to absorb moisture and help them to last longer.

Since I've started making our bread instead of buying it, I was thinking about bread preservation so that the sumptuous goodness can last a whole lot longer. Then, late last night I had a real genius of a thought, "I know! I'll put a piece of bread in the bread to absorb moisture!"

Yeah, I know.

Skinny Jeans

Today rocks. For the first time since before I was pregnant I fit into my "skinny" jeans. And they fit nice, not like spandex. And they were comfortable and wonderful. When we moved here in February, I put all of my skinny clothes in totes in the basement, but kept one pair of my jeans out so I could try them on periodically. In April I couldn't even get them over my hips, last month I could zip them up if I sucked it in, today they fit superbly!

Many people told me I'd have nine months up and nine months down (meaning it'd take me nine months to get back into my old clothes). Looks like it was just over a year that I needed to get back. I never super dieted or anything (although I have been dieting the last couple of weeks to end that weight plateau I was in), but just made sure to get exercise and eat somewhat intelligently. I suppose chasing my hyper-spazz of a child helped too.

This week I'm going to break open my skinny clothes totes and see what's in them. Not sure if much of it is fashionable or even useful anymore, but it will be like opening Christmas gifts to dig through it all! Woo!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday. My dad rocks. He is my favorite of all the dads. I could go on about his selflessness, his servant attitude, his love of Christ, his strong example, his care of his children, his love for his grandchildren... I'm just so thankful to have such a great dad!

Happy Birthday!

Oh, and Caleb and I made a little video to help him celebrate!

Happy Birthday Grandpa! from Steph Lewis on Vimeo.

Harvest Bounty

Harvest Bounty 24, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

We had quite the harvest this year. What a joy it is to be back in Minnesota again so I can enjoy the fruits (or should I say vegetables) of labor. This bounty led to a full weekend of canning and freezing! The whole time I was just so thankful to be living back in Minnesota, enjoying the plentiful bounty that makes my life so rich.

Champion Old Male

State Fair with Josh 16, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

He is such a winner!

The Garbage Man Can!

Watching the Garbage Truck 1, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Caleb loves the garbage truck. I usually take him outside when I hear it rumbling up the road so we can sit on the front steps and watch it take ours + 2 neighbors' trash away. We point and I make comments about what a "big blue truck!" it is.

This day, I did not take him outside. I told him, "Caleb, the garbage truck is coming! Do you hear it?" He pointed to the window then scurried up the couch to peer out the window at it. Ella joined him.

I loved how Norman Rockwell-esque the scene was. A boy and his trusty dog, experiencing the world together.

Caleb's 12 Month Stats

Another healthy checkup. We got the okay to do forward-facing car seat, but I think we'll keep him rear-facing for awhile longer. Still breastfeeding, but we've also started giving him whole milk. I gave him peanut butter for the first time and he was unimpressed.

Caleb is also pretty small for his age. The doctor asked if me or my husband was a "bottomless pit" growing up. Clearly, that was not me. I've always been big and strong for my age. But Josh? Yeah, he could eat whatever he wanted in huge amounts until his metabolism "shut off" in his early twenties. The doctor confirmed that Caleb was also a "bottomless pit" and that I should let him eat as often as he wants in whatever quantities he wants as long as they are healthy selections.

We also got a prescription for fluoride supplements since we have well water.

Here are the stats:
Weight: 20 pounds, 5.5 ounces (15th percentile)
Length: 28.7 inches (16th percentile)
Head Circumference: 18 inches (30th percentile)

Happy Birthday, Baby (end)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 56, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Happy Birthday, little guy.

May you shout for joy to the Lord!
May you worship the Lord with gladness!
May you come before him with joyful songs!
May you know that the Lord is God.
May you believe that it is He who made you, know that you are His.
May you someday be a part of His people, the sheep of His pasture.

I pray that someday you will enter His gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise.
I give thanks to God for giving us you, I praise His name!
The Lord is so good.
His love endures forever.
Thank you God for showing your faithfulness through all generations.

(adapted from Psalm 100)

Happy Birthday, Baby (Part 7)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 53, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

One thing that is interesting about parenting is that your child is always growing. And as a parent you have to anticipate these changes, this moving forward. I've been looking for good motor skill opportunities for Caleb since his new thing is climbing. He climbs onto chairs and the couch, up the slide (both sides), up hills, up steps (then down, then back up again). What will be next?

The beauty of this is that eventually, this progress will bring him to a place where he stands firmly on his own two feet, taller than me, looking me in the eye, engaging in adult conversation. But for now, I get to look down on the top of his little head, pursed lips, and diaper-bunched little jeans while he explores and finds his own forward momentum.

Happy Birthday, Baby (Part 6)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 36, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Have I mentioned how cool it is to watch motor development? He's walking, shakily, but walking nonetheless. I love when he stands up and reaches his little hand out to me so he can grasp it. I find it to be a beautiful metaphor for God's relationship with us. He hold us up, helps us to balance, sends us on our way, picks us up when we fall... wonderful.

I call this picture "Umbilical".

Happy Birthday, Baby (Part 5)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 31, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

But, with independence and exploring, comes the question of discipline. I like to think of discipline as guiding your child through the world and teaching using positive methods as often as possible. So, I redirect his attention, teach him how to do things gently, practice being safe, and so on. But, then there came the day where he bit me in the back of the leg. I let out a yelp of pain, not ready for this kind of behavior from him. He thought it was funny and did it again. Introduce the firm, stern mother who says "NO!" He didn't like that.

And then the other day when he decided to investigate power plugs. Not just look at them, but to unplug and attempt to chew on them. After redirecting multiple times, I ended up having to come back down to the firm, stern mother who says, "NO!"

He crawled toward the plugs today and I told him no and he retreated and focused his attention on something else. That made me feel good that he's at least beginning to listen when I need him to. I know it won't always work as slick as I want, but hey, we're giving it a good concerted effort. It's interesting to work out a parenting style when it comes to these kinds of things.

Happy Birthday, Baby (Part 4)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 30, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

I spend a lot of time on the floor. We draw & paint, cook, read stories, bang on pots & pans, crawl around, make animal sounds, sort through the dirt, weed the garden, sort the mail, brush the dog, rock & dance to music, play our instruments, explore toys, try out new foods, and pretty much investigate everything. This is, I think, one of the best parts of being the mama of a one-year-old.

Happy Birthday, Baby (Part 3)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 13, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Caleb has also become quite independent. We had his first day of Musikgarten today. All of the kids in the class seemed to cling to their parents, but Caleb pushed off of me right away and wanted to sit right in front of the teacher. When she'd set out a basket of jingle bells or blocks, Caleb was the first one in there to play with the percussion instruments. He even handed a jingle bell to another little girl, which made everyone say, "Awwww!" It was adorable.

I felt so proud that my little guy feels confident to explore and engage.

Caleb's cousin, Maia, explained something to me the other day. She said that there was a statue of a bear on top of the waterslide at the community center and that it was "Ver-wy Sca-wee." After thinking about it she said that she could just bring Caleb with her next time because, "He's a boy and boys are bwave!"

Indeed he is. He is ver-we bwave.

Happy Birthday, Baby (Part 2)

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 4, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Here is Caleb with his best buddy in the world, Ella. He calls her and she comes to him. He throws her toy for her. He calls her and looks for her when we are away from home, especially if he is doing something exciting he wants to share with her. She is a great little dog to have around and loves so much. This may be related to the fact that he sneaks her cheetos when I'm not looking...

Happy Birthday, Baby

Age 1: Journey Through the Yard 3, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Well, the day has arrived, my little guy has turned one year old. So, I'm going to spend a few posts sharing my favorite pics that I took of him yesterday as he journeyed around our yard.

At one year old, Caleb is excited about art. He points to art hanging on the walls and wants to look at every picture in our house. He makes the sign for art.

Cultivating Discipline

After Caleb was born and I started staying home with him, my life became a bit of a fog. I would wander through the day taking care of him (enjoying him!), trying not to forget basic things like eating and exercise. That was pretty much all consuming, and then we decided to move across the country. So, then I balanced packing, shopping & selling, pricing moving possibilities, calling a million people to arrange storage & living arrangements... When we got here, the house hunt started and I immersed myself in that. I told myself that my job was to care for Caleb and to bring our family to a point where we could relax. Well, now we are comfortably moved in, most of the broken stuff is fixed (contractors are replacing the roof & pouring cement in the coming weeks still!), and things feel pretty good.

So, now I am excited. This is exactly the place, one year ago, I hoped I would be. Now, with Caleb in tow, I have a blank canvas before me on which to paint how I live my life. I will no longer be all consumed with insane amounts of life changes all at once (for now anyway). The question I have been asking myself is, what do I want to do now? After much thought over the past year, I have decided that I would like to cultivate disciplines in myself that are healthy and sustainable. This is not to be taken lightly and I concentrate on one at a time. Here is my list so far:

Cultivated Disciplines:

1. Daily Bible Reading & Study - I read the Bible most mornings while Caleb and I are eating breakfast, often out loud to him. I've been also praying through the Psalms for Caleb and Josh and anyone/anything else that comes to mind. It is fantastic to start the day off like this.


2. Nightime "Fly By" Cleaning - Every night I do a walk through of the house to make sure things are picked up. I go from room to room and do a quick assessment and tidy up. This means that the dishwasher is full and started before bed, laundry is put in hampers, toys are off the floor, and so on. It gives me a satisfied feeling of completion at the end of the day and also helps me to start the next day without feeling frazzled. Sometimes I'll even do a spot clean here and there (bathroom, sweep, etc.) if I'm feeling in the zone.


3. Memorize Fighter Verses - I started memorizing fighter verses. Setting God's word permanently in my mind has been so important to me. I find myself reciting verses throughout the day to help me get out of a bad attitude or temporary despair or whatever. It reminds me of who I am and what my purpose is. Nothing like giving my life some directed focus!

Upcoming Disciplines:

1. Writing - I need to write more about my thoughts. My blog has fallen wayside more often than not and I think it's important for me to keep writing.


2. Creating - I've started working on some craft projects here and there and I have some art in the works. I want to make sure that I set aside regular time where I can connect and create using my hands. There is something so satisfying about using my hands to make stuff (i.e. not on a computer!).


3. Ministry & Hospitality - Working on this. I'm trying to understand how my day-to-day encounters with others can show Christ's love through both words and practice.