August 2003 Archives

Well, Josh and I ripped my car apart, yet again, today to see if we could find my ring. It's nowhere to be found in there. I had myself wedged places where no person should be in a car, dangling a little flashlight hoping to see a sparkle of gold. No such luck.

I have emptied all of my bags and gone through them three times. (Which is a very unlikely spot to begin with since they were zipped in my back seat. Didn't know if my ring knew how to open up zippers and walk....) No such luck.

It's definitely not in the school parking lot. I searched it multiple times. Josh searched it with me. A few teachers from school searched it. One teacher sent out a group of students to search. No such luck.

So, my hope lies in my students. Hoping that one of them picked it up and brought their new found treasure home and set it on their dresser. I'm going to draw a sketch of it and see if the school will publish it in their newsletter with a little ad. Then, beg and plead with all of my students to help me spot it somewhere. I am at the mercy of middle schoolers. Sigh.

A bad title...that could really kill a blog.

A couple of days ago Josh called me at work to let me know that my blog was boring. He said that if I wanted to have an audience reading my blog that I needed to choose topics that were more "happy and funny" rather than depressing "my life is so sad" topics.

Then it dawned on me...I've always used journaling to basically ponder the more serious parts of life, a catharsis if you will. I also use it to record events that are going on. That worked for journaling just fine. The question is, should my blog be a journal? Do I have to keep an audience in mind? Or, can I just blab on and on and who cares if anyone is ever entertained by my blog (or ever reads it for that matter). Does it have to present great matters of discussion for people to ponder and discuss in the comments section? (I suppose I could just talk to Neal myself and get it over with).

Kevin will occasionally share feelings or going ons of his day, but is usually pondering some issue that regards how the church relates to society. Josh talks about a bunch of random stuff ranging from techie junk to ugly fish to ADD. And I talk about depressing things. Here, I'll talk about depressing things now:

Top Ten Reasons Why My Week Sucked:

10. I realized that my blog was boring and depressing.
9. I fell asleep on the couch one day and woke up with my contact lenses stuck to my eyes in a horrible painful way.
8. Our dishwasher broke. Yeah. Tell me about it.
7. Henson keeps dropping his ball in the laundry basket, then freaking out because "Oh my gosh! I can't reach my ball! The world is ending!!!!!"
6. My teacher cancelled my cello lesson because his work schedule changed.
5. My principal notified me that he got a $3,500.00 grant for our art program at school. Oh wait, that's a good thing!
4. I don't get paid until the end of September and am squeaking by until then.
3. I went to the doctor today and got diagnosed with a urinary tract infection (not fun, I don't recommend getting one) which...
2. caused me to cancel the camping trip for this weekend that I've been planning for several weeks. It's not in my best interest to be deep in our nation's beautiful parks when I don't have a lot of bladder control. (Josh will be happier where there is DSL anyway).
1. I lost my wedding ring somewhere between my car and the school parking lot. I ripped the car apart, searched the parking lot, notified the entire school, and sent out a gang of teenage detectives to help find it. No luck thus far.

There, wasn't that exciting? Boring? Should my blog be more wacky? More philosophical? Should I shoot for a higher-thinking crowd or just go with the lowest common denominator? These are the questions I ponder late late at night when I awake for the seventh time to go to the bathroom.

My mind has been blanking a lot lately. It seems that with school starting I've had a hard time thinking of anything else. Whenever I'm home or at the grocery store...I'm thinking about my classes and what I'm going to teach and how I'm going to teach it. I'm wondering what the best way to teach it is. I'm brainstorming ways I can make it better. And, I have to admit, though it is exciting...it is also very tiring. I want to be the best teacher I can be, but I also want to come home after work (without staying late) and do things that I enjoy without thinking about my classes.

I think that the development of new curriculum is making things a bit more complex. I've added two new classes this year and it's rocking the boat a bit. Plus, I'm always trying to improve on what I taught previously...so I have the wheels turning there as well.

Until I learn to shut off the art-teacher-motor, I think I need to force myself to do other activities and stop thinking about my classes. Like practicing my cello. Like finishing Angela's Ashes. Like just hanging out. I went swimming after work today...that's a start, right?

Today was the first day of school at Hyde. Talk about craziness! Several things didn't go as smoothly as planned. Students were given their second semester schedules. I was given ten classes instead of five. Students didn't know where they were going.

Luckily, we have a really great staff that really pulls together to help out in situations like this. I think, considering the circumstances, the day went pretty darn well. Oh, and I ended up only having five classes...thank goodness!

I get to have two more classes this year: Art II and Crafts II. This is cool because it allows the curriculum to be expanded so students not only get to broaden their abilities, but I also get new challenges for teaching them.

Unfortunately, I have been completely exhausted this week. Yesterday I went to bed at 8:00 p.m., which is pretty darn early. But, I was up fine this morning, being extremely thankful that I got the rest I did.

Today was the first day of school. Tomorrow is the first day of cool. It's when students finally know where they are supposed to go and start to pull together a bit more. So, maybe I'll wear sunglasses tomorrow to show how extra cool I am.

First, I have a confession to make. Earlier, I posted that I would be starting a discussion on Angela's Ashes soon. So, I'm actually only on page 50. *Steph hears Neal say "Grrrr."* I got sidetracked reading books for seven year olds (the entire Judy Moody series, a good deal of Junie B. Jones, Pocahontas, The Stinky Cheese Man, etc). I also read a textbook on how to get children to love (and continue loving) to read. Fascinating stuff. That, and school is starting this week. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of Labor Day though. Josh and I are going for a camping trip then and there should be ample time for reading as we're going to the far out crazy wilderness.

Josh and I saw Urinetown at the American Conservatory Theater on Tuesday. It's one of the better musicals I've seen in a long time. Absolutely hilarious, stellar cast (with excellent vocal abilities), great music, and fabulous writing. One thing that I really appreciated about it is that it didn't have a complete left-wing agenda. I thought so at first. It portrayed the head-honchos of a capitalist society as being greedy and making harsh decisions to benefit themselves (at the expense of those less fortunate). However, *spoiler - ending revealed ahead!!!* at the end, once the "less fortunate" had rioted and over taken the system, the town ran out of water and eventually killed off a bunch of people. Little Sally says to the Officer, "I don't think people are going to want to see this musical." To which he responds, "Don't you think that people want to know that their way of life is unsustainable?" So, basically, it ended by saying that no one is perfect, we are all flawed, and society in general is doomed to be flawed no matter who is on top. Loved it. I'm so tired of people pointing to right-wing conservatives as being horrible people when, in reality, this musical's message is more true to real life than most would admit.

Today, Brian Davenport (a fellow teacher at Hyde & friend), Josh, Mark Quinlan (fellow teacher & theater guru from MN), and I went to the Marc Chagall exhibit at the SFMOMA. Marc Chagall & Max Beckman have long been on the top of my favorite artist list, and it was awesome to see a huge collection of Chagall's work side-by-side. The museum did an awesome job laying it out & the exhibit catalog was beautifully and thoughtfully done. The place was so crowded that I got a bit claustrophobic...but it was worth it. We had a discussion about the difference between someone who makes a few good paintings versus someone who pics an artistic direction and obsesses over it, making tons of work. Very often, people look at artists (such as Guston's exhibit, also at the gallery) and think that their work sucks (my kid could do that!). But people fail to see two critical parts that put that artist over them...the artist's journey taken to get to that type of artwork (such as Picasso's journey from realism to abstract) and the artist's obsessiveness over a given topic or style. These two things set apart the artists we see in museums from the rest of us. Granted, there are some exceptions, but I'll not get into them here. Oh, and it was great to see Mark again. It makes me miss the Centennial Speech Team big time.

I was also informed today that I need to stop referring to San Francisco as "San Fran." Apparently, the people who live there are somehow offended by the abbreviation. They "cringe" at it. So, I'm supposed to start calling it either San Francisco or "The City." I may continue using San Fran because I figure, hey, that city offends me, why can't I offend them? Just kidding. Oh, and it's so like SF to want to refer to themselves as The City. As if they are the ultimate superemo always right best ever city. Kind of like "The Man," except "The City."

Teachers go back to school on Monday, students on Thursday. I'm so pumped. It's been a long summer. Most people are very excited for the summer, but I tend to dread it. I just love teaching and it's sometimes difficult to face life without students around. They are such a source of energy and joy for me. I will have new challenges this year as we are starting an Art II and Crafts II class this year. So, I have more curriculum to develop, which is mostly put together already. I'm excited for the venture! Oh, and we got air conditioning put in over the summer. Sweet!

Today I understood some things about motherhood that I haven't connected with before. I'm not actually a mother (I guess I kind of am, but I haven't ever met either of my children because they miscarried while I was pregnant). But, while being a nanny has it's boring days, it also has it's wonderful special days as well.

Today Alex and I came to my house where we made pudding pops and chicken soup, played with Henson, taped fake butterflies around the house for the cat to play with, read from Judy Moody Saves the World, watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, took Henson for a walk on an expedition to find a mail box in Japan Town, gave Henson and Five baths, painted our fingernails and toenails (and Henson's toenails)...and so on. There is something so special about just hanging out with little people and doing things together. And talking about things. We had quite the discussion about mean people, the chicken/egg dilemma, what it means to be crazy, why people make Art, caring for animals, not liking school, not liking to read...that kind of stuff. Important stuff. It makes me feel reflective and wonderful and challenged.

The Rugrats in Paris movie (the Rugrats are now my second favorite cartoon, next to The Simpsons) recites a parenting poem that says:

Oh, how my heart beats wild
Every time I hold my child...

I guess that's true of me, except I would say, "Every time I hold a child." I want to be a mother, yes, in due time. But I think there is something about me, about the way that I'm made, that I just love kids. I love their spirit. Their creativity. Their curiosity. That's why I wanted to be a teacher...I didn't want to work completely with adults, they would get on my nerves after awhile (no offense to all of the adults reading this). I love to challenge kids. I love to be there consistently for them (which is why it killed me to stop coaching the speech team in MN). I love to help them develop discipline and patience. I just love them in general. I know, everyone "loves" kids, but not everyone loves to be around them almost all the time. I used to choose to hang out with my neighbor kids over my friends in school like once a week because we always had a blast together (they still haven't figured out my all time best hide-and-seek hiding place -- Ha!).

So...I guess that's it. I guess I just wanted to express this part of myself since I seem to have some kind of words to go with the feeling today. I'd love to hear about your passions. Click on the comments button below (don't be shy! Even if I don't know you!) and just share something about yourself that you feel like you're alive to do. Something you feel like you were made for. You don't have to go all in depth or be mushy about it or anything, it's just cool to see what burdens God places on peoples' hearts, how he develops them, and how he blesses us repeatedly through them.

I've been listening to Yo-Yo Ma's new album Obrigado Brazil. I love it. Especially track 2 and 9. Absolutely beautiful stuff. I liked Yo-Yo before, but now that I've been attempting to play the cello for three weeks, I really really think he's amazing.

Anyhoo, Josh and I had a discussion a few weeks ago about who we thought was the absolute best living singer. This included many facets meaning that they are capable of sounding beautiful in a variety of genres, are creative, have done something profound with their vocals, and are innovative creators. The only musician we agreed on (and also agreed was the absolute best) was Bobby McFerrin. He kicks my butt.

So the other day, I was sitting in my car listing to Yo-Yo's new album, admiring it and cherishing it, when I got this brilliant idea. What would happen if Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin made an album together??? That would be so absolutely cool! It would be genius!

Then I realized that they already have made an album. Oh, and I also happen to own that album. And I have the entire thing memorized.

So much for my brilliant idea. It's still brilliant. Just a little late. Oh well.

Okay, so I don't actually have the bottles. Or the whiskey. But I do have the containers that the bottles come in. They are tall cylindrical tubes with lids. I got them so my crafts students can make a decoupage project with them. I originally had them in my car when I thought, "Dude, someone is so going to break into my car to get 120 bottles of whiskey in plain view." So, now they're in my living room. The cat likes to climb on them. It's funny because it looks like she's in her special kitty kingdom (and by the look on her face, I think she really does consider it to be her kitty kingdom).

We went to Dave & Buster's yesterday to celebrate Josh's birthday. Josh and I played a game where we have machine guns and have to kill these evil green dudes trying to capture the president and take over the city. It was okay...but it made my hand cramp. I think that's number 987 on my list of why I think video games are stupid--hand cramps. I also played Beachhead which is kind of fun as an arcade game (but sucky as a computer/console game).

I'm starting to design a new site for Hyde's Art program this weekend. I'll give you a link to it when it's done. I have the layout down on paper already and the content is ready to go, I just need to get the code & graphics done. Plus, I'm going to try using some CSS and maybe some PHP so I'll have to learn a bit of that too. I actually am enjoying web design, which is something I never thought would be a hobby (or even slight interest) of mine. Interesting.

Well, today is Josh's 25th birthday. A quarter of a century old. Holy cow. It seems so old and yet young (don't feel old). Well, regardless, Happy Birthday to you my wonderful, dearly loved husband.

We're going out to Dave & Buster's tonight (kind of like an arcade for adults). While the food and friends are great...I always have to prepare myself mentally for video games. I have never been entertained by an arcade (which is interesting since my brothers could have spent an entire day in one if they had that many quarters). But, I have to remember that it's Josh's birthday and I can shoot a few bad guys (without first trying to understand them personally or attempt a peace treaty) for his sake. I think I would be a much better wife if I could muster up the attention span to play a video game for five minutes every now and then.

Interesting. I just realized that I'm the opposite of many others in my generation. Most of my students are absolutely fascinated by computers, game consoles, television...basically technology based gadgets. These gadgets hold their attention for long periods of time with little or no difficulty. Give them a book, and most of them are bored out of their minds in 5 minutes or less. I could read a book all day sitting in my papasan with an iced latte. Mmmm...caramel iced latte.

Yesterday, Josh, Brian & I all tried to go to the SFMOMA again. The Chagall exhibit was sold out when we got there (dangit!). So, we ate dinners at Chevy's (which always makes me smile and think of good times with Carrie), then went to Brian's house and played a game called Settlers of Catan. This is a game my Aussie friends Kami & Andrew have been trying to get us to play (mostly Andrew...he loves games) but the fact that they live in Australia makes a board game night a little difficult to pull off. Anyhoo...so we get to Brian's and he pulls out a freakin' tackle box full of game pieces and starts going off about various expansion packs and stuff. I'm thinking to myself - any game that uses a tackle box is no game for me. But, once the game got going, I actually really enjoyed it (and secretly am really excited to play it again...but don't tell anyone I said that, it's too embarrassing). The game ended with Brian winning and me yelling at Josh for trading with him and sicking the black baron on me multiple times when it was clear that Brian was about to win the game. But, enough about my husband trying to get me to lose games. :-)

Well, I've spouted off enough for today. As my friend Kevin says, "This is what happens when you save up your thoughts for a week." Except that he talks of more serious things than I generally do (on my blog anyway).

Oh...and I've also learned this week how absolutely important reading is for kids. But, I'll spout off about that another day. Toodles!

Okay...I'm really excited for school to start again. I think that teaching Art is one of my all time favorite things to do and I really miss doing it. Most people look forward to the summers...I loathe them. (Then again, I may feel differently if I could actually stay home or go on vacations one of these summers). I feel more alive and connected when the school year is on because I am challenged by my students and invigorated by the curriculum. So...12 days before the teacher work days start up again and I get to be in my classroom. That, and it will be nice to actually return to the same place I taught at last year. My classroom is already mostly together.

Also, I've continued my cello lessons. I can now more-or-less play a successful double scale. I still feel awkward when playing though. It's a challenging instrument...there are so many things to think about all at once.

Other than that...today is a normal day. I'm going to go swimming in a bit (as usual) and will hopefully get in a bit more cello time before my lesson later tonight. That's about it!

Alex (the girl I nanny for) had a friend over a few days ago. The girls were so adorable as they played and hung out. They wanted to have a tea party, so I showed them how to make real tea. They were so excited by this that they wanted to play a game where they were my servants and I was a princess of some kind. I wore a pink tiara with fake pearls on it. They brought me tea (just how I like it with a little sugar and milk). Then, they made me a lovely lunch of sticky rice and dry noodles. I heard the girls giggling in the kitchen and peeked my head in. There they were, sitting on the floor with the rice cooker between them. They used two giant wooden spoons to scoop into the pot and eat their rice (which was sprinkled with soy sauce). They were just giggling and having a marvelous time.

The kitchen was a disaster. But, I didn't see the disaster until much later when the girls had moved on to another game in another room. At this moment, I was just watching them delight in each other's company. And I felt joy.

I got the kitchen cleaned (for those of you who can't let thoughts like that go). But I think about how wonderful those moments are as children...and how we need to remember to continue having those moments as adults. How sometimes getting out of your regular routine and just sitting on the floor with a pot of sticky rice, basking in the presence of your loved ones, is the best thing to do.

Gigli is the new hot movie opening this weekend. I hear it's supposed to be a great box office smash. The critics are raving over this one. Here are a few of the things they've said:

1.  "I had a brief thought that the mundane inanity might be some Samuel Beckett-style commentary on the existential void. Then I realized that watching the movie put me closer to the existential void than they ever were."

2. "Such an utter wreck of a movie you expect to see it lying on its side somewhere in rural Pennsylvania, with a small gang of engineers circling and a wisp of smoke rising from the caboose."

3.  "The movie is pretty much as bad as you've heard, a tangle of badness so thick it's hard to hack your way through and find the good idea that made writer/director Martin Brest think this was a story worth telling."

4. "A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue."

5. "I am giving Gigli one star and that is only because of Walken: if Brest were smart, when the film hits DVD, he should only release that scene and stick the rest in the deleted scenes section."

6.  "An inert, toneless clunker... with the stars generating almost as much heat as Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley did in their public makeout sessions."

7. "This is the first time I’ve ever attended a screening where the audience was screaming the word 'edit!'"

8.  "Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching Glitter."

9. "The vow Jen and Ben should exchange is to promise to never step foot in front of a movie camera together again as long as they both shall live."

10. "Jennifer Lopez plays a lesbian in Gigli, and Ben Affleck plays a heterosexual man, which means they have one thing in common: Both of them are in a crummy movie."

11. "It's a sorry statement, when the actor that has the most subtle performance is the kid with Tourette's."

12.  "Gigli rhymes with "really." As in "really bad," or "really offensive," or "really wish I’d remembered my gun so I could just shoot myself now and end the misery.""

13. "Every generation gets the celebrities they deserve, but what have we done to deserve Gigli?"

14. "Gigli is so unrelentingly bad that people may want to see it just as a bonding experience; viewers (read: victims) will want to talk and comfort each other afterwards."

15. "It makes Mariah Carey's Glitter look like Citizen Kane."

Funny thing is...I'm considering seeing Gigli just so I can be in on the crowd that can sit around and endlessly bash it. I want to think of clever satirical statements. Some of the critics even said that this movie is so bad that it's funny. Maybe it will do well at the box-office because people really want to know what "bad" is. Something to determine the other end of the spectrum.

So, just for fun...I want to hear what your favorite Gigli bashes are. You can vote from the ones above or make up your own. Add it to the comments link below. I like the Citizen Kane one (#15). I think that one's a seriously low blow. I bet the critic thought it out and saved it for many years... wanting to give it to the most awful movie ever. Congratulations Gigli. You've earned the best critic bash. Ever.