October 2003 Archives

Okay, so it wasn't a peaceful day. I got to work 35 minutes late, even though I left our house earlier than usual. There was an accident on the road ahead and I seriously moved about 100 feet in 30 minutes. Wowsers. When I got to school, I didn't have time to do the stuff I wanted to do. Also, I didn't sit down until I got in my car at 3:00. I was busy with stuff all day including during my breaks. We have a pumpkin decorating contest tomorrow and a door decorating contest due Friday. We also have a costume parade on Friday. I'm demoing website plans tomorrow and planning w/ Annie for our next small group.... So, pretty much the day was chaos.

But I felt this extreme peace all day. Like, even when bad things were happening, I just felt all calm and go-with-the-flow-ish (not a word, I know). Some things happened in my class that I knew were set-backs, but I was really chilled about it. Driving home from work in heavy Californian traffic (Minnesotans, you think you have it bad...) I was just singing and chilling.

What has caused this change? The difference between chest pains a few weeks ago to comfort and peace today? God. He's the only one that can make someone in my job not be stressed out. And he absolutely blows me away with His blessings. I know that many of you have been praying for me and I'd like to thank you. God answered your prayers today. Today He filled my heart with warmth and peace and love. It was awesome.

Tonight Annie and I took the Jr. High girls bowling for fun night. It was very interesting. Even though we were bumper bowling, several of the girls didn't want to bowl because "bowling is dumb" and some other reason I didn't understand. I think it was equivalent to "I'll feel dumb if I do poorly." I had a blast just dancin' to the hokey bowling alley music, bowling a crappy game of 87, trying to order a pizza from the snack stand that never had an attendant present. Good times. It does get a little stressful sometimes that our "small group" isn't small. I have corrected our Youth Pastor when he speaks of the small groups. I tell him that the correct term is "smallish" groups. I threatened to start calling them "medium" groups if he adds another member.

I've been working hard at Hyde. I think the year is going really great though. The students have been working hard and producing some great projects. I really like it, I think it is a neato school.

I've missed having a wedding ring. (For those of you who don't know, it was lost a little over a month ago and has not been found) I've started to really miss it. I've been wearing my class ring instead because it is the only ring I have that doesn't completely irritate me. But, I get really sensitive around other single men and am maybe even a little mean to them (some of you are very familiar with my biting sarcastic humor). I don't want them to think that I'm single. So, I look for intresting ways to bring up my husband, just to drive the point home. I had a coworker ask me if I was going through a separation because she noticed I wasn't wearing my wedding ring anymore. Ouch.

All in all...good times with Jr. High girls.

A few months ago, I broke down and bought a bottle of Downy Wrinkle Releaser on a friend's recommendation. And, I have to admit that it's my favorite product of the year. (I know, Josh would kill me for not saying the G5 or the super-dooper iPod). The reason that I love it is that it has allowed me to discover the rest of my wardrobe. The clothing that I got (not realizing that it wrinkles easily) or was given as a gift. The stuff I never ever wore because it would require the effort of ironing...something I'm only willing to do on very very special occasions. Anyhoo, this stuff rules. I just spray and tug, then put on my freshly scented wrinkle free clothing.

It has worked well for Josh also. Previously, all of his clothing was wrinkly and he was oblivious to it. I'd be chasing him around trying to get him to put his shirt back in the dryer with a damp cloth (my previous attempt to not iron). Now, he looks neat and wrinkle free.

So, anyway, it's a stupid thing and really shows my laziness. But, I have found it and I love it.

I am also thankful for these random products:

Plant Shine Spray (It makes my dying plants look somewhat alive)
Those stick-on odor reducing things that I stick inside of my trash can
The little tablets that turn your toilet water blue
Hershey's Magic Shell
Compressed graphite sticks
Those velcro thingies that help you to organize mass tangles of power cords
Cascade Complete

I chaperoned the middle school dance tonight. Good times. I found that the biggest challenge of the night was keeping parents from going into the dance. So many of them wanted to go in to find their kid. I'd have to tell them to wait until the end, that we don't release kids and they'd still try to talk their way through somehow. And I was thinking, "Yeah...that's all these kids want is to have all of the parents lining the walls of the dance."

I taught some kids how to do different dances including the sprinkler, the lawn mower, the dig, and some mime things (which aren't technically dances, but do look super cool under a strobe light). We also invented a few dances. Oh, and I showed them how to dance like M.C. Hammer or "Hammer" as he was most recently called. The D.J. said, "We're going to do some old school!" and started playing Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby." The kids were like, "I've never heard of this before!" And I still remembered all of the lyrics. I think they think I'm a complete dork.

Later in the dance a bunch of kids came up to me and said, "Hey, Mrs. L, we heard that you're a really good dancer and were wondering if you could teach us some moves." Some parents were trying to come in at the time, and "Stayin' Alive" was playing, so I invented a block-the-door-to-keep-the-parents-out-of-the-dance dance. It was pretty sweet. I think our principal would have given me a salary raise, that is if teachers actually got things like raises for just working hard.

I remember back when I was in Jr. High. I loved going to dances. I would totally look forward to them and dance from the beginning to the end. It's interesting that I married Josh who, to this day, has still never gone to a dance. Wait, I take that back. On our first date we went swing dancing...except he didn't know how to dance. So, we hung out in the parking lot where I taught him how. I think we went to another swing dance much later. But, he's never been to the club-type D.J. dance. That's an experience you just need to have in life in my opinion.

I was asked to present to my Jr. High girls a dealy on prayer. Wow. Prayer. Quite a vast topic. Anyhoo, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about, doing all the research, yadda, yadda.

So, when the girls were over, I had them all draw a little dude. I gave mine the name Powder Puff Paul, just because I like alliteration. So I asked them what kinds of things they would pray for or want prayer for. These are the things that they listed: medical needs/health, food, water, shelter, happiness, and relationships with friends & family. Then it dawned on me that so many people pray for physical things that, in the long run, don't have a major spiritual impact.

We proceeded to look at various examples from the Bible where people were praying and talk about what they prayed for. In John 17, Jesus prays for awhile (and I consider Jesus to be the grand master super champion of prayer). We looked at what he was praying for...and he did not pray that physical and relational needs be met. He prayed for souls.

Wow.

So, on our charts we made a list of other things we could pray for when praying for others. We drew little arrows pointing to body parts that related to what we were praying for. Some of the things we came up with included:

Brain - pray for God's wisdom to infiltrate our minds
Eyes - pray for discernment, that we would be able to see the difference between good & evil
Mouth - That we would speak only the words that glorify God
Ears - That we would hear God's truth
Hands - That we would become servants, even if others don't recognize us
Hearts - That our hearts would be made pure and holy, and that God would seal our hearts to keep evil out
Feet - That God would light our path so that we go where he desires us to go

What a refreshing discussion. (I just had to share it). I think I was blown away though that we come to God when we have physical needs, or when others have physical needs. But do we pray for each others souls? I don't know a soul out there that doesn't need to be lifted up and protected by God.

I think I slept more this weekend than I have in a really long time. I went to bed around 10:00 p.m. on Friday and woke up around 11:00 a.m. Then, not feeling well, went back to sleep around 1:00 p.m. and woke up around 6:00 p.m. Then, I went to bed at 9:30 p.m. I woke up this morning at about 9:00 a.m. After coming back from church, Josh and I took a nap at about 1:30 p.m. and woke up around 6 p.m. Hmmm... let's do the math there. That would be a grand total of 35 hours so far this weekend. I don't think I have mono or anything. I think I'm just that exhausted. I feel pretty good tonight though.

Today at our couple's class at church they had a discussion on two becoming three. (Married couple having a child and the effect that has on their relationship.) It was cool, except there was a grand total of 5 infants in the room, all under the age of 6 months. It was strange. I felt like I had brought Josh into a freaky twilight zone where there were only babies to cry and be needy. He handled it pretty well and seemed pretty entertained by this cutie next to us who kept doing raspberries and kicking her feet. We also think it's funny that all young babies look like The Godfather. Seriously, they have those puffy cheeks and slightly evil but knowing looks on their faces. That, and they clutch their hands together as though plotting some freaky thing against the rest of us adults. I know that they are all thinking, "I'm now a part of the family...." Hee hee.

This week is the last week of 1st quarter at school. Can't believe it's gone by so fast already. Speaking of that, I have things to grade right now. Smell you later, everybody.

I learned something disturbing the other day. One of my former students stopped in to see me and said that her sister just got her 13th abortion last week. And she's only 21 years old.

Avoiding the whole "she's killing babies" thing, I asked why she didn't use some form of birth control. She said that she used the rhythm method, but just had sex anyway when she knew she wasn't supposed to. So, basically she isn't using the rhythm method. After prying further, I figured out what her real birth control method is. She gets pregnant, so she doesn't have to get her period. Then, once she starts to gain weight in her second trimester, she has an abortion. She said that it was cheaper this way because she qualifies for some kind of scholarship at an abortion clinic and only has to pay $20 a pop. That's cheaper than other forms of birth control.

It was one of those moments where I was having very strong emotions and fighting very hard to keep my cool. I told this girl's story to Josh tonight and he got pretty emotional about it. How could a person be this disrespecting of human life? How could someone use a pregnancy as "birth control" and a way to not get their period? How could an abortion cost less than birth control? How could someone loathe themselves this much to sleep around so foolishly? How can someone justify killing 13 unborn babies before age 21?

This raises some interesting questions about God and how he decides that one person can get pregnant and be given the power to kill their babies, and another person's babies die even though they want nothing more than for them to have a healthy, prosperous life. I don't have anything to justify this, but I believe that unborn babies go straight to heaven. I sometimes joke that God loved the Lewis kids so much that he wanted them in heaven right away. And in some strange way it seems that they are better off not having to know the pain of this earth. Maybe this girl's babies got to go straight to heaven too, and were spared the pain of having this dysfunctional person as their mother.

I am so impressed with the way my students are drawing right now. It is so invigorating to see them drawing okay at the beginning of the year, then show them a few short drawing lessons, and *bam!* they're creating awesome stuff! I'll post a link to some pics once the kiddos turn them in on Wednesday. I think I am really honing in on what lessons kids really need to learn to improve their drawing. There are so many lessons that I could go over...which would take forever. But, I'm really getting down to the ones that matter and am watching them confidently take off drawing. It's so amazing. I love teaching.

I spoke with Josh's folks yesterday and they thought I might still be having some grief issues from our miscarriage last year. I don't think I realized then what an impact it would have on me. I tried to shake it off and move on. I thought I was doing great when a couple of weeks ago I successfully held my coworkers newborn for awhile. I felt totally fine. I remember thinking, "Hey, I just held a baby and I did totally AWESOME!!!"

Just yesterday a couple came to our Sunday School class and showed everybody their newborn and I just lost it. I sidetracked it to the nearest door and sat outside beating myself up for being so emotionally week. I don't believe anyone noticed me.

I think the most frustrating thing is that I don't know when it's going to hit me and when it's not. And I don't want to have to explain to people that they shouldn't hide their beautiful babies from me for fear of making me emotional. I have always loved children and always wanted to play with them...but now I have this kind of curse where peole are really timid around me (for obvious reasons).

I don't want to feel this way anymore. I want to be able to laugh with new mothers about things that are happening and hold their babies and stuff. I don't want the pregnant ladies at work to stop talking about their pregnancies when I sit near them. I don't want to be so sensitive about these issues.

Anyway...that was my vent for now. I think I feel better coming out about these kinds of feelings. It feels like medicine to my soul.

I wish I had learned more things about dealing with personal finances when I was growing up. It's not that I've handled them poorly...I think I've done pretty well. It's just that I never learned about things like investing, how much to save, retirement, different kinds of accounts, buying a house, etc. I got a copy of my credit report several years ago just because it was free and I wanted to see what it said. It said that I still lived with my parents and had two open accounts that were actually closed. So, I guess this affects your credit rating. I had to write a letter and get them to fix it. I guess it never dawned on me all of the complexities that come with having money.

I also fear for my taxes this year. Josh and I got bumped into the high tax bracket this year and I don't think it's going to be pretty. I'm going to do a pretend tax form this weekend to see how much blood the state is taking from me this year. Oh, the bitter republican in me hates having to pay for California's poor financial choices all these years....

I also got a couple of books on personal finance that are kind of interesting. To all of my friends, I highly suggest you get one and really learn the stuff. I work with some people now who didn't start saving for retirement until they were in their fifties...and boy are they freaking out now. I have a retirement fund, that's good for starters. But I keep hearing about all of these other options that I really feel that I need to be educated about now in order for them to really benefit me in the long run.

In the game Animal Crossing, you can plant money and it will grow into a tree. I just harvested 90,000 bells the other day. Oh, if it were only so simple....

Yesterday Josh & I hosted a small group of Jr. High students in our home. It was so refreshing to have faces and laughter and joy and exuberance and youth in our home. What an absolute joy. I'm leading the small group with another cool girl from our church (Annie). Josh's job was to keep Henson from growling at people (which he eventually did by keeping him upstairs in a corner with his dog bed, multiple toys, and a dog bone). Five was very interested in hanging around the girls.

About a year ago, Josh and I shared the gospel with Henson and Five. Five was immediately repentant. Henson on the other hand...well...he has a lot of inner evil and turmoil. We might have to get out a flannel board for him to spell it out a little more slowly. :-) Hee hee.

So, anyway, that's probably why Henson was growling at people and Five wouldn't leave the group alone. Annie is really great and fun too. The girls really like her.

What a nice night it was. I'm really excited for next week.

In CA's recent election a proposition was put forth that stated the following:

"Proposition 54: Collecting Racial Data

"This proposition, placed on the ballot by a petition, would amend the California Constitution to prohibit state and local governments from classifying any person by race, ethnicity, color, or national origin in areas of public education, contracting or employment. Classifying in other state operations may be authorized by a two-thirds majority vote of the state Legislature. The state Department of Fair Employment & Housing, law enforcement, medical research subjects and patients would be exempt."

The strange part about this is that most of the advertising that went into it pushed to drive fear into the hearts of Californians that this would hurt them medically. I saw many advertisements that said "Vote No on 54 - Information Saves Lives" and Such-and-so medical organization says "Vote No on 54." I was handed a brochure that had a picture of a doctor on the front and said something along the lines of "Sorry...we didn't have enough information to save your life..."

Let's look at the wording of the proposition again. Notice the final sentence that says, "...medical research subjects and patients would be exempt." The proposition did not even include medical reasons for collecting racial data...yet the whole campaign against it was claiming that we needed to know the info for medical reasons. Does this look like a stupid smear campaign to you? It sure does to me.

This is what the deal is...the Joe Schmo's in the state office want to know your racial data so they can campaign to you and try to guess what kind of crap they can pull over you based on your racial demographics. And the suckers of California fell for the lying "medical" advertisements that don't actually have any relation to the proposition anyway. Can people read? Can people think beyond signs in someone's lawn or a brochure handed to them? One thing I try to teach my students is what I believe is a huge issue in our society -- just because something is published or written in ink or on a sign somewhere does not mean that it is true or holds any smidgeon of truth in it. Research everything from reputable sources. Question the crap handed to you.

Well, today I voted at California's recall election. There was actually a line at the polls...which reminded me of my days in Minnesota. The last election I voted in in California..well...there were two other people at the polls besides myself & Josh. This one...there was actually a line. I'm glad that people care. I think more people believed that their vote actually mattered in this one.

Anyhoo, CNN has projected that the recall went through and that Schwarzenegger is our next governor. Makes me feel like I'm in Minnesota again, except that my Governor says "Kaleefornia" instead of wearing a feather boa. Which brings me to my next point. You have to buy this shirt, or at the very least enjoy it. Hee hee.

Well, Schwarzenegger is a better pick than Bustamante or Davis in my opinion. But, I really thought that Tom McClintock would have been the best choice. Josh kept looking at these stats and categorizing me in different groups. Neat to look at. But, several issues aside, I guess I'm pleased at the "projected" outcome of the election. I'll just check again tomorrow to make sure that things came out as CNN projected.

Elections always make me a little tense. I feel like I need to know as much info as possible before I can make a decision. So I get all nervous and stuff. I guess it's better that I'm this way than me not caring and voting for whoever the teacher's union or some random flyer given to me at Best Buy tells me to vote for.

Well, tomorrow is the big election day in California. Will Gray Davis be ousted? Will Arnold rule supreme over Caleefornia? Does McClintock have a fighting chance? Man. Politics like this get me all worked up. I study and try to get all the facts and really try to make a decision I believe is ultimately the best choice. It's frustrating to be around so many misinformed people that make rash or uninformed decisions regarding these matters.

It's funny though what divisions exist between Democrats and Republicans. What stubborn people.

Oh, and if that doesn't make tomorrow exciting enough, tomorrow is also the kickoff day for the 7th/8th grade girls small group. I met a neat girl named Annie who will be leading this Christian group with me. It'll be cool to just hang out and be Stephanie around these girls. They'll be coming to our house for the first month or so. This will be an interesting experiment to see how Henson handles it! Let's all keep Henson in our prayers.

Other than that, life is pretty normal! Sorry! My hair looks normal again and I'm mostly on top of things at work! Yay!

A little better.

I still have a few things left to grade and I'll be golden in that area after it's done. I feel more calm. I got to talk to my parents the other day and it's pretty amazing how much you can miss people. I have been pretty good this whole last year at adapting to California and all of the sudden, now, I get hit with homesickness. Not sure why. I think I'm on the uphill slope though.

On a different note, I've started reading "The Message." It's really neat. It's a contemporary translation of the Bible. Neat to see things from a different perspective and a smoother translation. I'm not planning on doing an exegesis from it or anything...but it's just cool to read. So, that's going well.

My birthday is on Saturday. Josh and I are going to Great America (amusement park) with the Jr. High group at church. That should be pretty awesome. A bunch of Christian bands are going to be there.

I've also started listening to Linkin Park. It's a band one of my students introduced me to last year. I got their new album "Meteor" and I love it. It's a little rough sounding at first, but it really grows on you. I like their sound.

I also got the new Dave Matthews album "Some Devil," which is always super. It's weird to have Dave with out the "band" part tagged on the end. Not sure why they're not together for this album. Oh, and on their website, you can buy Dave Matthews Band flip-flops. Schweet.

These are from my student's papers. I left the grammar/spelling the same to add to the hilarity. Good times.

Question: What is the difference between positive space and negative space?
Answer: "There both different."

Question: Does Art have to be beautiful?
Answer: "No. Art can be as beautiful as butterflies in a field, or ugly like a hairy man leg."

Question: What is tactile texture?
Answer: "It is the way something."

Question: What is a shape? Define.
Answer: "A shape is a drawing that shows a difference."

Question: Color is...
Answer: "visual quality of objects caused by the amount of life."

Question: List some subjects you find interesting that move in everyday life.
Answer: "Fishs, They's movement is quiet looking."

When speaking about art....
"The Mona Lisa is a piece of art, even though she has no eye brows."

"...a landscape wouldn't count as art because it isn't considered art..." (now there's some logic for you)

"They help us tell what shows emotions. Like the difference between ne and dirt." (I always like to know the difference between "ne" and other things...)

"You cannot just take a piece of white paper and label it 'invisible castle.'" (Ahh...a young Jack Handey in the making.)