August 2006 Archives

I recently saw Robert Altman's A Prairie Home Companion. So many of the things in the movie reminded me of my home in Minnesota. (Sidenote - After I saw that movie, I saw The Devil Wears Prada. Meryl Streep is, I think, the best living film actress. Blew my socks off.)

Anyway, I started listening to some of the Prairie Home Companion shows on NPR. Aside from some of the minor politics I disagree with, the show generally overwhelms me with nostalgia for my hometown.

Garrison Keillor was talking this morning about growing up with chickens and turkeys on a farm and how they were a responsibility for everyone in the family. Then he shared that most families don't do this anymore. Chickens are no longer grown in a joyous place for families and children, but are now raised at a "concentration camp" that we would never dare let our children see. He talked about going up to the cabin and seeing giant cabins on the lake (which can hardly be called cabins because cabins don't have hot tubs and tennis courts). He said that people in those "cabins" grow weeds in their yard and call it "prairie restoration." He also said that those people are generally disagreeable, not that we would know because we never talk to them.

Heh heh.

I love Minnesota and I miss it sometimes. Life here is so different, so much faster. My person has shifted to adapt to the needs of Silicon Valley, but my heart still embraces and envisions a home on the prairie with chickens.

I was reading Abby's Blog and it made me realize that I never blogged about The Great Termite Invasion of '05. What a day.

So, it was early Spring in 2005, and I was going about my regular business teaching art to my middle school students. While I was teaching, one of my student aides was taking down an old bulletin board so we could replace it with newer, more interesting stuff. So, I'm standing in front of my class talking about some art topic and this little bug comes flitting around my head. I bat it away and continue. About a minute later, there are two or three of these little bugs flitting around my head, I again bat them away and continue sharing about the glories of art. Then, all of the sudden, my students' attention shifts from me to something above and beyond me. Their faces look confused, then freaked out. I turn around just in time to see my student aide pull a huge piece of paper off of the bulletin board, revealing a huge mass of termites in the wall, which are now coming at my students in a HUGE FREAKING SWARM!!!

I shout, "AHHH!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Pretty tactful, huh?)

Some of the kids get up and take off out the door, most of them covered in termites at this point. They are trying frantically to brush them off. A couple of boys in the back stayed and started shouting, "The bugs are having sex! They're having SEX!!!!!!"

I looked down, and sure enough, the bugs were hurriedly trying to mate (due to their short life span, I later found out. Apparently, this type of termite only lives for 3-5 hours before it dies. So, they don't have a lot of time to mate & lay eggs before they die).

So, now, half of my class is outsite, half is inside, they're panicking about having yucky mating bugs on them... The shrieks and side-comments from my students were, well, "creative" and "colorful" as they attempted to get these bugs off of their bodies. I finally get them all outside and phoned the office...

Me: Yeah, my room is filled with a huge swarm of termites. I need somewhere to take my class, is there a free room somewhere?

Office Lady: No, all of the rooms are filled right now. You're going to have to use your class room.

Me: Right. Yeah. I don't think you heard me. My kids are covered in termites and, if that doesn't make you puke, these termites are also mating. They have covered everything. There are thousands of them. They are everywhere. I'm not going back in there.

Office Lady: We won't be able to get someone from the district office out for awhile because they are busy doing--

Me: *interrupting* Let me say this again. Someone better get out here immediately and take care of this or you're going to have a bunch of kids going home telling their parents about being mated on by a swarm of termites and about how the adults at the school did nothing about this. I'm taking my class to the locker rooms to clean up, then we'll be on the stage. Tell me when it's figured out. I'll call the district office myself if you want me to.

They had a guy out in fifteen minutes who killed all of the bugs, caulked the cracks in the wall, and cleaned the room. That weekend they tented my room. They haven't fixed the damage done to the walls yet (you can seriously just push the wood in at some places).

And that was The Great Termite Invasion of '05. Fantastic fun.

Well, I had the most interesting experience at work last week. I met someone who was my age who had honestly never met a Republican in his life. Seriously. For those of you not familiar with the Bay Area political climate, Republicans are a very misunderstood and rare breed. A lot of people are so ignorant to the point that they think that Republicans are evil villans who hate the environment, are opposed to all education, and must have been brainwashed by a certain president whose name I cannot mention here lest I get booed and hissed at.

So, when my fellow intern was joking around and made the comment that he felt he was better qualified to be president than our current one, he expected everyone in the room to jump in and rally around and throw out some Bush-isms and act generally supportive. Everyone did, of course (I am still in California), but I chose to just keep working on my computer & ignore the whole thing.

My fellow intern just assumed I didn't hear, so he came over to me and tapped me on the shoulder, "Stephanie! Stephanie! I was just telling them about... I mean... don't you think I would be more qualified to be president than our current one?" He stood gleaming, sure that he'd be the hero of the day. I mean, isn't it great to think that you're better than the president of a large country?

I looked at my web design that I loved doing, then looked back at my fellow intern & wondered if I should even start the battle, "Dude. Just leave me out of this." All of the issues started swirling around in my head. Yes, I know I'm in "I hate Bush" territory. I know that I generally vote Republican, but not always (because not all Republicans are good Republicans). I know that some people think it's okay to just lambast the President left and right while being otherwise unaware of any facts regarding politics or history. I don't claim to know it all, but if you're going to go off on hating the president at least have intelligent reasons why. I'm so tired of this Bush-hatred backed by no reason except "I don't believe in blood for oil" or "He talks funny" or "No child left behind sucks" or other arguably uneducated responses. Again, I don't want to get into a debate on whether or not you like Bush. All I'm saying is, please be aware of your reasoning and make sure it's good reasoning before you have a strong opinion either way. Simple as that.

So, I finally said, "Dude... you're fishing in the wrong pond." He searched my face to see if I was joking. When I realized he was still standing there trying to understand me, I daid, "I'm a Republican." He immediately laughed, because anyone in Silicon Valley who says she is a Republican must be joking. To end the laughter and get me back to my sweet web design I mumbled, "I'm serious."

He paused and I'm pretty sure that the blood drained from his face. He mumbled, "Dude... she's... she's serious. Are you serious?" I nodded. He then said the words that have baffled me ever since, "I've never met a Republican before."

The room stood in silence as my co-workers stared at me. Some were probably confused by it. Some probably held out hope that I was still joking. And still others were probably relieved since it explained some of my more confusing behavior.

Then, my fellow intern said, "Dude... don't Republicans like hate babies and like dump oil in the ocean for the insurance write off? That's just wrong man. I can't believe you're a Republican." He looked at me in disgust, as though I was suddenly small and far beneath him.

As I picked my jaw up off the floor, I explained to him why I was a Republican, including simple comments like, "We like babies. We like the environment. We support the general concept of life in all countries. We just don't think that government programs should pay for it all." Then I added that things like war and whatnot are not just Republicans, that Democrats have their share of blood on their hands.

When I was done, one of the high school interns in the room said, "Wow. I always thought Republicans were evil. But you're nice. That's so weird."

Interesting day. *Insert Steph's long drawn out sigh here.*

I played my first grass volleyball game on Saturday. It was a free agent team, and I was abducted, I mean "borrowed" to play for it. When I was playing with my outdoor Wednesday-night pals, some people came over & asked me if I'd play on their team because they were short a player.

So, for almost nine hours on Saturday, I played volleyball in the hot sun. Despite putting SPF 45 sunblock on three times, I still got a fancy little burn. We lost every single game, including what I affectionately call the worst game ever. Regardless of the losses, I had a blast meeting new people and learning new tournament rules.

If you've never played a grass tournament before, the rules are quite different from other styles of play. First, there are only four people on a team. Two of them must be female. Men may not block or hit from in front of the ten foot line. (This makes for some interesting crazy man leaps in attempt to hit the ball in front of the ten foot line without touching the ground). If a ball is hit more than once on a side, one of the hits must be by a female. So, basically, this game is completely biased towards females. That's sweet. :-)

The above pic is my team: Janey, Dalton, Me, & Henry.