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Holiness

I have been praying for God to reteach me about things that I learned when I was younger, in an effort to have a more mature grasp of what they mean. One thing I wanted to learn more about was holiness and this is what I learned in my studies.

God simply IS holy. I was struck by my Old Testament reading in Exodus, particularly Exodus 33. One of the things the LORD says to Moses is, "Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way." And in verse 5 the LORD says to Moses, "Tell the Israelites, 'You are a stiff-necked people. If I were to go with you even for a moment, I might destroy you. Now take off your ornaments and I will decide what to do with you.'" (italics mine).

Whenever I read this, I'm like, "HE MIGHT DESTROY THEM!?!?!" Well, yes, because He is that holy. His holiness is so pure and perfect that He cannot even be in the presence of evil or He will destroy the unholy vessel. God chooses to withhold himself from the Israelites here because He knows how powerful His holiness is, which also sets in further motion the gospel redemption story through Christ (God wants to be with us, we are unholy & would be destroyed by God because of his holiness & justice, He sends Christ to live a sinless life and to be sacrificed as a lamb to pay for our sins, we are purchased by God through the blood of Christ, God chooses those to bring to Himself so we can return to our original purpose of glorifying and worshipping Him...something like that).

God's holiness is jealous. In Joshua 24:19, Joshua says to the people, "You are not able to serve the LORD. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins." This struck me because I recognized that God originally made us for the purpose of glorifying and worshipping Him, in a pure and holy state. When we allow sin, no matter how seemingly small, it is like bringing a mistress or idol in between us and God. He longs to be with us, and is jealous of anything that turns our thoughts and heart away from Him. His holiness wants us fully, completely.

What does this mean for me? First, it gives me a stronger understanding of how my sin defiles my relationship with God. This then gives me a deeper longing to have no sin - to be with my God purely and wholly. Because I am unable to live a sin free life, it makes me cling to Christ even more, knowing that I cannot be good enough to free myself from the things I do even though I hate them. It pushes me to touch the robe of the one who bought me and redeemed me.

In the book I'm reading, The True Woman, there is a quote by Elizabeth Prentiss, "To love Christ more – this is the deepest need, the constant cry of my soul. Down in the bowling-alley, and out in the woods, and on my bed, and out driving, when I am happy and busy, and when I am sad and idle, the whisper keeps going up for more love, more love, more love."

This prayer and thought of Prentiss is shared by me; that my life could somehow reflect more love to Christ, more love to Christ, more love to Christ.

Caleb and his Shoes

Caleb and his Shoes 2, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

Caleb went over by our front door and was playing with all of the shoes there. He especially likes my camo slip-ons because they have gold sparkly stars on them. Well, he started crawling away and I saw that he had taken off his own shoes and placed them with ours! Coincidence? Who knows. Notice he left the sock in one of the shoes. :-)

The City With Foundations

When I lived in Cupertino, before baby, and was teaching art and finishing my master's degree, I found myself frustrated by the mundane day-to-day things. One of my biggest peeves was unlocking my front door. It was more complicated than it needed to be. I'd usually get home late at night, and the yard light may or may not have been on. After exiting the car, I'd stick my overly-heavy backpack on my back, then head to the trunk to bring in other things. This could include piles of papers or portfolios of artwork to grade, my toolbox of art supplies, my large portfolio of personal drawings, binders of curriculum, video & photo equipment, piles of library books, groceries, and other such things. I hated taking two trips, so I'd just pack it all on myself like I was some kind of pack horse or alpaca.

Then I'd get to the door, possibly in the dark because of no yard light on, and set some of the things down so I could use my finger to pry open the screen door, usually doing some kind of bendy-twisty dance because of the awkward shape of our entry – a wall on one side and a pointy shrub on the other. I'd use my foot to kick open the door, then dig through all of my pockets to find my keys (I never remembered which one I put them in). Finally, I'd stick the keys in the lock, then put pressure on the door at just the right angle to get my key to turn. The door would fly back and I'd have to grab my mass of things, now mostly dropped in piles around the sidewalk. My home entry would end with grabbing my stuff and tossing it just inside the door while repeatedly getting slammed on by the screen door and trying to keep the cat from escaping.

I hated getting through that front door so much that I once said to Josh, "I wish I could stand at that front door and just unlock it for three months straight and then never have to unlock it again." While I'm sure he probably thought I was weird, I considered how cool it would be if you could sort of stock up on mundane tasks to get you through. What if the length of your shower was related to the length of time you stayed clean? What if you could wash dishes for a length of time only to have them stay clean for a proportionate amount of time afterwards? The truth is that, no matter how long your shower is, one step in the mud and you're dirty again. And, no matter how long you wash a dish, one spoonful of baked beans dirties it again. And, no matter how long you spend unlocking your front door, you're just going to have to do it again the next time you come home.

Why do I write about this? Because I made a great realization recently. This life is where I am stocking up on mundane tasks. I'm doing lots of hard things now – boring things, tedious things, annoying things. I was reading Hebrews 11 and was struck by verse 10. Here it is in context:

 8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

Abraham was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. Everything I do now, whether mundane or otherwise, are temporary to my life on this earth; I am living in tents. But I, like Abraham, look forward to the city with foundations. That thought puts everything in perspective to me. Everything I experience here is a blip on the screen compared to an eternity spent worshipping my God.

Ella!

Caleb is quite verbal for his age. He says Mama, Dada, Ella, and All Done. His favorite word is Ella. He calls Henson Ella, he called my cousins puppy Ella, the neighbor's dog is Ella, and when we go for a walk and hear dogs barking in the distance, he looks at me and proclaims, "Ella!" And I say yes, it's a dog, just like Ella. And he grins.

Today he had Ella in his sights as he crawled quickly toward her. "Ella! Ella! Ellllll-ahhhhhhhh!" he shouted. Ella looked at him, nearing her at a faster-than-usual pace, and bolted out of the room onto the safety of the couch. Caleb stopped in defeat, knowing he couldn't keep up with her let alone get onto the couch. He started to cry in frustration, but luckily there was a vent nearby for him to look at and hit. He loves vents.

Boy does he crawl around. Today for the first time he grabbed onto a lower-rung of a dining room chair and pulled himself up to a kneeling, then a-frame position. He wants to stand so bad.

I'm loving my talkative, fast-paced little guy. My favorite part of the day is on our daily walk. We walk down to the lake, go to the end of the public dock and sing a hymn. Well, I sing the hymn. Caleb points to stuff and babbles. The dogs enjoy the sunshine on their brace leash. Does it get any better? I savor those moments and try to press them into my mind so I never forget the wonder, the feeling of completeness, the uber-contentedness.