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I have found that I am the kind of person who (usually) needs structure when performing my role as homemaker & stay-at-home mom. Sometimes I'm totally fine just rolling through the days. Sometimes I hit walls where I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything, my kids are whiney, and I'm doing my best to just stay in some kind of good mood. I have found that there are a couple of things that help me avoid these negative days. The first is to keep a minimum level of order in my home. If clean clothes are in my closet, clean dishes are in the cupboards, and stuff isn't scattered around the floor, then I'm generally very chipper.

The second thing that helps me is establishing a routine with my kids. This article from Simple Mom, 20 Tips for Finding Routine with Kids, helped me to fine-tune the things I was already doing. Here are some points made in that article that clicked with me and my thoughts on them:

Think of your job as a job.
Just having this mindset helps me in so many ways. Even if I'm not planning on going out, I daily get up and showered, get dressed, and do my hair and make-up. I think of my husband as a boss/coworker and treat him accordingly (a.k.a. no calling your husband at work to whine and complain about everything). I set goals throughout the day such as having me, the kids, and the dog all fed and ready for the day by 10:00 a.m. along with the kitchen cleaned and laundry started. If I didn't think of my job as a job, I probably wouldn't care about things like this.

Clean as you go.
I need three things done regularly in my home that will send me down a depressive spiral if they are not done daily. First, I must have a clean kitchen. So, dishes are done after every meal. Second, I hate tripping on things, so stuff gets put away throughout the day (or in one giant sweep at night). Last, I will become mega-exasperated if it takes me more than 10 minutes to put an outfit together in the morning because laundry isn't done or it's sitting clean in a giant pile. So, I (try to) do laundry every day. Clean toilets, vacuumed floors, cobwebs... these things don't effect my psyche so they can slide a bit here and there when we get busy.

Have a brain dump at least once during the day - transfer everything swimming around in your head on to paper.
I keep a running To-Do list on my computer and I keep lists of projects, dreams, & art in a sketchbook. If I have too many things in my head I start to get paranoid that I'll forget them, so dumping them onto my lists helps me to prioritize. I want to spend my time on what really matters, not on what is making me stressed at the moment.

The key is to just plan something... Write a set-in-stone schedule, but keep it soft as clay.

1. Consult Resources: I'm always looking for ideas of things to do with my kids. I'm usually laid back about when to do the activities, but do try to set up lots of things to do in my house so that they are ready to go when inspiration strikes. I use a list I put together of activities to do with toddlers (ThingsToDoList.pdf) that I will look at when I don't know what to do or need ideas. I look for ideas from blogs, family & friends, the library, and books (the ones I have are listed as resources on the the Things To Do List).


2. Weekly Plan: I sit down once every couple of weeks and plan out activities using my Weekly Function Plan (WeekFunctionPlan2.pdf). I write it in pencil & change what doesn't work for us. Sometimes I work many weeks out and only fill in what I know I want to do or what is relevant. I try to use a variety of ideas from the resources I listed above. I try to coordinate it with my calendar (like planning a craft time to make a card for an upcoming cousin's birthday).


3. Daily Schedule: Every day I (usually) update my Daily Schedule (DailySchedule.pdf). I keep it inside of a plastic sheet cover and posted in my kitchen (see pic above). I use a white board marker to write on it what I'm doing each day. I will reference my Weekly Function Plan, but don't always adhere to it. In fact, some days I'll go through the whole day without doing any of the activities planned on the schedule!

You'll also notice that I refer to time as "blocks" in my two schedules. What that means is essentially "whatever amount of time exists between x and y." Such as lunch and naptime. Sometimes that's two minutes, sometimes that's two hours. Because I don't want to force a crying toddler through making a marshmallow snowman, I'll skip the project and put him down for a nap early. See, I've learned that mamahood is often about flexibility and letting things go. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have a plan to avoid the insanity. I know I need one.

Harvest Bounty 24, originally uploaded by StephLewis.

We had quite the harvest this year. What a joy it is to be back in Minnesota again so I can enjoy the fruits (or should I say vegetables) of labor. This bounty led to a full weekend of canning and freezing! The whole time I was just so thankful to be living back in Minnesota, enjoying the plentiful bounty that makes my life so rich.

After Caleb was born and I started staying home with him, my life became a bit of a fog. I would wander through the day taking care of him (enjoying him!), trying not to forget basic things like eating and exercise. That was pretty much all consuming, and then we decided to move across the country. So, then I balanced packing, shopping & selling, pricing moving possibilities, calling a million people to arrange storage & living arrangements... When we got here, the house hunt started and I immersed myself in that. I told myself that my job was to care for Caleb and to bring our family to a point where we could relax. Well, now we are comfortably moved in, most of the broken stuff is fixed (contractors are replacing the roof & pouring cement in the coming weeks still!), and things feel pretty good.

So, now I am excited. This is exactly the place, one year ago, I hoped I would be. Now, with Caleb in tow, I have a blank canvas before me on which to paint how I live my life. I will no longer be all consumed with insane amounts of life changes all at once (for now anyway). The question I have been asking myself is, what do I want to do now? After much thought over the past year, I have decided that I would like to cultivate disciplines in myself that are healthy and sustainable. This is not to be taken lightly and I concentrate on one at a time. Here is my list so far:

Cultivated Disciplines:

1. Daily Bible Reading & Study - I read the Bible most mornings while Caleb and I are eating breakfast, often out loud to him. I've been also praying through the Psalms for Caleb and Josh and anyone/anything else that comes to mind. It is fantastic to start the day off like this.


2. Nightime "Fly By" Cleaning - Every night I do a walk through of the house to make sure things are picked up. I go from room to room and do a quick assessment and tidy up. This means that the dishwasher is full and started before bed, laundry is put in hampers, toys are off the floor, and so on. It gives me a satisfied feeling of completion at the end of the day and also helps me to start the next day without feeling frazzled. Sometimes I'll even do a spot clean here and there (bathroom, sweep, etc.) if I'm feeling in the zone.


3. Memorize Fighter Verses - I started memorizing fighter verses. Setting God's word permanently in my mind has been so important to me. I find myself reciting verses throughout the day to help me get out of a bad attitude or temporary despair or whatever. It reminds me of who I am and what my purpose is. Nothing like giving my life some directed focus!

Upcoming Disciplines:

1. Writing - I need to write more about my thoughts. My blog has fallen wayside more often than not and I think it's important for me to keep writing.


2. Creating - I've started working on some craft projects here and there and I have some art in the works. I want to make sure that I set aside regular time where I can connect and create using my hands. There is something so satisfying about using my hands to make stuff (i.e. not on a computer!).


3. Ministry & Hospitality - Working on this. I'm trying to understand how my day-to-day encounters with others can show Christ's love through both words and practice.

I was giving information at my new medical clinic and they asked me, among other questions, what my occupation was. I answered, "Homemaker." I still cringe a bit when I say it, probably mostly because I'm worried that the person I'm talking to will think homemakers are lame. (I read a study recently that said much of America's population thinks homemakers contribute to society the same as the elderly, blind, and retarded. It's a terrible study on many fronts, but I won't go into all that here.)

The girl I was giving the information to reviewed the information and, when she got to occupation, said "Unemployed." I stopped her. I said, "No, I'm not unemployed, I'm a homemaker." And she said, "Well, you don't have a job, so that would make you unemployed." I responded that the word "unemployed" insinuated that I was without or looking for work, and that that was not the case.

She was clearly frustrated with me at this point and explained that her pulldown menu didn't have "homemaker" on it. So, I told her to select "education" or "maid" or "counselor" or "manager" or some other job that described a sliver of what I do. She said she couldn't do that because it would be lying. So, I copped out a bit (poor girl) and said, "I've been a teacher for many years, I have my master's degree in education, why don't you just mark me as 'Education' then." She was satisfied with that.

Ugh. I hate stuff like this.